Today's blog is brought to you by: Spanx (they're not for everyone)
So having a break from the gym yesterday after dinner I pretty much fell right asleep! 4 days of working out at 11pm at night gets to you after a while! :-) Here is a recap of day 5:
Breakfast: Jimmy Dean Turkey Sausage Breakfast Bowl & Banana
Snack: Apple
Lunch: Turkey Sandwich on whole wheat with Lays Chips & Pudding cup
Snack: Blackberries
Dinner: (Dipped into those bonus points finally! LOL) Houlihans Chicken Fingers & Fries. Although they were more like chicken bites than fingers....
No Snack after dinner.
Since there are no workout details today I will take some time to tell a nice story from the past related to my struggles with weight loss. Colene will be very excited that I am finally telling this story to the world as she was on the phone with me prior to and after the following events took place. I hope you enjoy a laugh at my expense. :-)
I have always been one to try anything that helped me lose weight or even gave the ILLUSION that I have lost weight. All that really mattered was what I looked like in my clothes. I've tried tummy trimmers and waist belts and sauna suits, to name a few. Well one day I was traveling through Nordstroms.....no wait...I have to back up a bit. A few weeks (maybe even a month or so) prior to this I was with Colene in Dillards in Kentucky. We were shopping just to be shopping and I came across a table display for Spanx. Now if you don't know what Spanx are, get out from under your rock! LOL. I had no idea they made them for men however. I always hear people make jokes ("it took 2 pair of Spanx to get this dress on") So I looked at Colene and asked "Should I buy one?" Well she is always an advocate of "Do what you want it's your money, but I don't think you need it" kind of thing. So I look at the price....$60!!!! For one shirt!!!! Are they real? Needless to say the benefit did NOT outweigh the cost in this scenario.
I digress.
So I'm walking through Nordstroms and I come across (would you believe) a shelf display full of Spanx! I'm on the phone with Colene and I'm like "I think it's a sign....but do I really want to spend $60?" then I ask her "Do you think the lady will let me try one on?" Colene says I should ask her and see. So I find the register lady and ask to try on a pair of Spanx (the t-shirt) and she shows me to the dressing room. At this point I tell Colene I'll call her back as I am going to try this on and see what it does.
All sounds pretty normal up to this point, right?
Ok...so if you know me, you know that when I buy clothes I always give myself WAY too much credit on the size....scaling over the 200lb mark, I asked that lady for a medium. Really? Hear me out....my thought was, if the large would make me look 10lbs thinner, maybe a medium would make me look 15-20lbs thinner, I mean it sounds logical...the tighter the shirt the smaller the stomach. So anyway.....I pull this shirt out of the box, mind you it's a plain white shirt that looks like its about 4 sizes too small for me. I'm thinking, it's supposed to be small because it fits snuggly around your body. I proceed to pull off my regular t-shirt and then attempt to put on the Spanx shirt. I say attempt because it was quite a chore. Halfway into the shirt I realize.....d*mn...I should have asked her for a large. Too late at this point, I'm committed, so I proceed to pull the shirt over my head and shoulders, squeezing it down over my chest and stomach and suddenly, it compressed my midsection and my ability to breath was somewhat diminished. I look in the mirror, it really just looked like a fat kid wearing his younger brothers tshirt. Ugh! So I put on my regular tshirt to see how I looked with clothes on. I will admit I looked smaller, but the way I was compressed it was uncomfortably obvious it was not natural!
Disappointed and even more depressed...I decided it was time to take off the shirt and get back to my shopping. I remove my shirt and start to pull up on the Spank shirt, I got half way up to my chest and I couldn't move. The shirt was so tight it that when I bunched it at the top I couldn't stretch it out to take it off. Oh snap! I started to slightly panic. Stay calm...stay calm.....ok. I grab one side of the Spanx shirt and start pulling as hard as I could to get my arm out, after a struggle I finally get it up over my head. The garment was so constricted at this point it got stuck. Here I am in the Nordstrom dressing room, one arm in and one arm out, Spanx stuck over my head, I kept bumping into the door trying to pull myself free. I'm thinking...it would be most awkward to yell for assistance and have that lady see me in this shape. At this point I was breathing very heavily, sweat was pouring from my head as I kept struggling to remove the shirt. I finally gave it one last tug with all my remaining strength, heaving and panting and grunting (if anyone was in the dressing room next to me they likely thought I was dying or having a seizure) but I kept pulling and finally....FREEDOM! Mind you I nearly fell over and hit the wall, but I was out of the Spanx! Bad..bad idea, definitely not worth $60.
So I put my shirt back on, stuff the Spanx shirt back into the box. Sweaty, red faced, still breathing heavy and hair looking a disheveled mess, I calmly return to the register. The lady looked at me like I was crazy and says "How did that work out?"....."I don't think it's going to work for me, but thank you for your help." I walk calmly out of the department, up the escalator and left the mall, calling Colene on my way to the car to share my most unfortunate experience with Spanx.
So you see, we all go through GREAT lengths and pains to try and look thinner. Men are no exception. Mind you, I probably burned several calories with that episode, but me and Spanx are officially over.
I hope you enjoyed my stroll down memory lane.....alas it is time for me to get ready for work. Tonight we are having Thanksgiving dinner with Mac's family.....I can't wait!!!
Until next time kids...
The one and only,
K
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