As I stood there looking in the mirror I thought to myself, "How did this happen?"
I was looking at a very overweight sad looking version of myself and couldn't figure out how I got here. Ok, that sounds stupid. Of course I KNOW how I got to this point, but it was a surreal moment. 2 years ago I wrote a post and listed my ending weight as 177lbs. I think I was wearing a small-medium shirt and a 32" waist pant.
Standing on the scale this morning it beeped back to me, "234.8".
This is bullsh*t! I have gained 57lbs in a little more than 2 years and I can't take it anymore. I won't take it anymore.
The past few weeks I have been in a depression of sorts about my body. I know that I have issues with food. I'm an emotional eater. I eat when I'm happy, I eat when I'm sad. I eat when I've had a bad day, a good day, a stressful day, an exciting day. Everyday is a reason to celebrate with food. As I pondered how I could turn this around I was not finding the energy or motivation to do anything. I didn't know how to start, where to start. I was defeated. Then it hit me, "YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED! YOU BETTER LOSE SOME WEIGHT!"
That was it. My motivation. I sat down with Matt amidst my own tears telling him that I was determined to do something and get back on track with my weight. I didn't know what I was going to do, but I knew it was going to have to be serious and something we could do together.
We decided that we had to do something that we could stick to without leaving us starved or frustrated. Making dietary modifications and disciplining ourselves.
Starting tomorrow, I have banned fast food/take out for the next 30 days. I set the 30 day goal for something measurable and short term as I have found it is easier to stick with short term goals that are realistic and attainable vs. long term, far reaching goals. We purchased items to make dinners at home that are lower calorie, less processed meals. Also things to eat for lunch and breakfast for work so we aren't tempted to eat out.
This may sound like something simple but for us it's a big deal. We ate our feelings in large massive quantities. We have to cut back our calories and make better choices when it comes to food and that is what we are doing to start with.
As I read back through some of my previous posts, especially the ones where I was completing Insanity, it made me realize, this isn't fun or easy, but I can do it. I CAN do it. I've done it before. It might have sucked, and I might have cried most of the way but I did it before and I can do it again!
I decided to start up my blog again to help me hold myself accountable and as an outlet to talk about the journey. It really helped me in my process last time and I think it will help me in my "do over" as well!
I also want to say or better yet ask, why are we so afraid to speak out to our friends who gain weight? I don't mean to be cruel and disrespectful about it, but can you just pull a girl aside and put a bug in her ear! Food is a drug too and I am an addict, I need an intervention!
Tonight is the last supper of sorts. No more fast food or take out after today. So what do you do when you've made that decision.....duh...you go to Taco Bell and do it up!
Cheers to my rebirth and the death (again) of Fatty McFatterton. Much like horror movie villains he just never seems to die!
Starting weight: 234.8lbs.
Let the loss begin.
All the best,
Keith
No comments:
Post a Comment